Reconciliation
by Chelles
Summary: When the past and present collide, it can take a monumental effort to bring them together.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a new drabble series built around Sara's time with her mother. By "series," I mean that each drabble works with all the others to tell a story. It's something of an on-going conversation that I see spanning the time from when Sara arrives at her mother's house until she and Grissom reunite.

I was inspired by the song "Born Too Late" by The Clarks. If you don't know them, don't feel bad. They're essentially a local band from Pittsburgh, but they're big enough to be on iTunes. The lines in italics at the beginning of each chapter are lyrics borrowed from the song.

So, just to make it clear, I don't own "Born Too Late." I also don't own CSI.

Thanks for reading this story. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

"_What goes up comes tumbling down"_

Thirty-six years ago, she became a mother. She gave birth to a beautiful little girl with brown eyes and a gap-toothed smile.

Twenty-three years ago, she became a murderer. She killed an abusive husband with an explosive temper and dangerous fists.

She hadn't realized that one would cancel out the other.

For twenty-three years, she had not been a mother to her daughter.

But, when that daughter appeared on her doorstep, her eyes red-rimmed and full of loss and despair, life handed Laura another chance to be a mother.

She took the young woman's hand, and welcomed her Sara home.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading and for reviewing. I hope you enjoy this portion of the story!

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Teresa, will I ever be a saint?"_

After ushering Sara inside, Laura gathered up her courage and broke the silence that had reigned since her daughter's arrival.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"Everything," Sara whispered.

With that one word, she burst into tears. Sobs tore from her throat and shook her body.

Shocked, Laura stared at her. Her mind flew back in time, remembering how little Sara had cried when their dog had died. As Laura had done then, she wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly, crying along with her.

_This time will be different, _Laura vowed silently_. I'll make it right. I'll be a good mother. _


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is my favorite drabble to date. I hope you like it, too.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late"

* * *

"_I've been losing everything that I've found"_

"I thought I was fine." Sara wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. "I thought I had put the past behind me. I thought I had moved on. I thought that Grissom and I …"

"Who's Grissom?"

Tears welled up in Sara's eyes again. "The man I was going to marry."

"Was going to?" Laura repeated.

Fast tears slid down her cheeks. "I can't marry him. Not like this."

"Not like what?"

"Not when I'm so broken."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much for all your reviews. I'm always so nervous about posting drabbles – it means a lot to me to know that you're enjoying this story.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_I've had a hard time leaving this town"_

"You're here now." Laura put her hand over Sara's, squeezing it gently. "We'll put you back together so that you can marry Grissom."

Sara looked around the room, her eyes straying out the window. "I can't believe I'm back here. When I moved to Vegas, I swore I'd never come back."

"Why?"

"Too many memories. Too many ghosts. Too much of a past." She swallowed. "They all held me here for most of my life. Even after college, I came back."

"Why are you back now, Sara?"

"To make sure that they never pull me back here again."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_I was born too late"_

Laura looked away, unable to make eye contact. "So much of this is my fault. I should have … I wish I had been here for you. I wish I had taught you how to make everything right years ago."

"But, you weren't." Sara stood up and crossed the room. "And, you didn't."

"Sara, please. I beat myself up enough for what I did to you without you helping."

"Mom, you destroyed so much of my childhood. There's nothing …"

"You're here now," Laura interrupted. "Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yeah," Sara said quietly. "I'm just not sure what yet."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I made it back from the most exhausting vacation ever safely, and I'm ready to get back in action! I hope you enjoy this next glimpse into Sara's time with her mother.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_I've been counting all the lines on my face"_

"Tell me how to fix us."

Sara looked at Laura for a moment. "Tell me why you killed my father."

"Sara…you know what he was."

"Yes. I do."

"Then, why do you ask? I would think it's rather obvious."

Sara's expression changed. The pain and despair slipped away, giving way to a spark of life. The broken woman was gone, replaced by the strong investigator.

"In cases like this, there's often a trigger. After years of abuse, something had to happen to make you see that it was wrong."

Laura bit her lip. "Yes. Something happened."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Yeah, sorry about that cliffhanger. Blame Maisy. She's the one who always leaves me hanging with her chapters – this is all her influence!

I hope you like my ideas about what happened between Sara's parents. I'm sort of going out on a limb here, and it's rather nerve-wracking. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_I'm gonna curse the sky and hit the ground"_

"What happened?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters," Sara said, suddenly sounding very strong. "Maybe more than anything. Stop avoiding it. Tell me."

Laura exhaled. "He was … angry. With you. You had marked the yard up riding your bike across it. He said he would teach you a lesson. I couldn't let him hit you. So, I grabbed a knife … I didn't want to _kill_ him, just to _stop_ him. I wanted more than that for you."

"Do you know how much worse that made it?" Sara's voice trembled.

"Do you know how much I've hated myself ever since?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I feel like I have to issue a couple apologies tonight. First, I'm sorry I didn't post this yesterday. I definitely intended to, but I ended up going to hear Bill Clinton speak, then, when I got home, I had to cheer my Pittsburgh Penguins to victory! So, I am sorry, but, as you can see, I had a very good excuse.

Second, I'd like to apologize for not sending review replies yet. It hit the point of being either post or send replies, so I chose to post this drabble. I figured you'd all be okay with that. I'll reply to your reviews as soon as I can – hopefully, a bit later tonight.

Thanks as always for your support!

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Jerry, all the joy and love you bring"_

"My methods were bad, but everything I've done since you were born has been for you. I've always loved you. Don't ever doubt that."

"Since you killed Dad, I have."

"We've been over this. You know what he was."

"Yes. And, I know what _you_ were. I know that you stayed with him despite it all."

Laura sighed. "What could I do? I loved him."

"More than yourself?"

She thought for a moment. "Yes," she said finally. "That's how you should love the man you marry. That's how you should love your children." She smiled. "That's how I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this installment!

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Jimi, show me how you play that thing"_

Sara looked disgusted. "I don't want that kind of love."

"That's what love _is_, Sara. It's about caring more about someone else than about yourself. It's about putting that person's needs first."

"It sounds like you let him control you."

"I did let him control me," Laura acknowledged. "I didn't understand the other part of love. Remembering yourself. Saying 'stop.'"

"Saying 'stop,'" Sara whispered.

Laura nodded. "It's about finding a balance. I couldn't do that then. I couldn't say stop."

"And, now?"

"Now, I've found my power."

"Heather was right," Sara murmured.

"Excuse me?"

She smiled slightly. "Grissom will understand."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Martin Luther King, show me the way"_

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Laura asked.

"How did you learn the difference? How did you learn to respect yourself enough to love someone properly?"

"I had some great therapists who helped me to see all the mistakes I had made."

"How did you learn to forgive yourself?"

Laura exhaled. "That was considerably harder. Because, before I could forgive myself, I had to forgive everyone else. I had to forgive your father."

Sara shivered. "I don't know how you could ever forgive a monster."

"I had to. If I didn't forgive him, how could I ever move on?"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: And on to the next installment! I hope you're still enjoying the story. Thank you for reading and reviewing it.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Jesus, Buddha, teach me how to pray"_

"You're so … peaceful."

"I've had years to deal with it."

"So have I, but …" Sara bit her lip. "Can you help me, Mom? Can you help me find peace? Can you help me forgive Dad?"

Tears filled Laura's eyes. "Of course."

"I don't want to be broken anymore." An unexpected sob broke free. "I want to put myself together. I want to be whole for Grissom. I want to give him my _whole_ heart, not the fragmented pieces he has now."

Laura folded her into a warm embrace. "You love him, don't you?"

Sara nodded. "More than anything."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this drabble.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Cassius, will you show me how to fight?"_

"I don't know how you forgave him. How you let go."

"I had to," Laura said. "If I didn't, it was going to drag me under."

Sara looked at her with pain-filled eyes. "How can I fight this?"

Laura grabbed her hands. "Sara, you're strong. You've _always_ been strong."

Sara shook her head. "I don't feel strong."

"_You are_," Laura said fiercely. "You're stronger than I've ever been. You need to _use_ that strength. Use it to forgive all those past wrongs and to move toward the future. If you don't, the ghosts of the past will haunt you forever."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm trying something a little different with the next two drabbles. Okay, I'll be honest: I'm completely bending the rules. I'm taking what should be two different chapters and combining them into one. I really think these two drabbles go together too well to break them apart. So, here they are for your enjoyment!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Build it up and tear it back down"_

"Why did he do it?" Sara asked with tears in her eyes. "Why did he hurt us like that?"

"Sara," Laura said slowly, "your father was a sick, sick man. He needed help. I was just too in love and too weak to know it."

Sara drew a shaky breath. "He needed help," she repeated. Her features twisted into a sarcastic smile. "Everyone in this needed help. _Dad_ needed help. _You_ needed help. _Natalie_ needs help. Maybe _I_ need help. Maybe that's the problem."

* * *

"No, Sara," Laura said. "You're the one who _doesn't_ need help."

"Mom …"

"From the time you were a little girl, I knew you were meant for more than the life I had lived. And, I was right. You went to Harvard and to Berkley. You have an amazing career. You're in love with a wonderful man who is just as in love with you. You have a brilliant future ahead of you. Don't you dare think that you're the one who needs help. All you need is to overcome the past."

"I need to forgive you all," Sara whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: And, for this one, I've combined three drabbles into one chapter. Again, I think they work better together than they would separately. I hope you enjoy!

Although it suggests finality, this is not the last chapter in this series. There's still one more to come!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_Thomas A., I think I see the light"_

Sara looked pensive. "Most of the abused women I see who harm their abusers are acting in self defense." She paused. "I looked up the details of your case once, but I didn't read anything beyond what I already knew."

"What do you want to know?"

"Nothing, I guess. If I wanted more, I would've kept reading." She exhaled. "I have faith in our justice system. I've been part of it for years. If the courts forgave you, why shouldn't I?"

"Sara?"

"You did what you thought was right, Mom." She smiled slightly. "You had to stand up for yourself."

* * *

"Natalie was sick. She spent years in the foster system. But, she had it worse than I did. Her father voluntarily gave her up. You – you didn't do that to me."

"I wanted to keep you with me, Sara. More than anything."

"I know," Sara nearly whispered. "She was so screwed up, Mom. She tried to get to Grissom through me. And she nearly succeeded. If … I fought my way out of there. If I hadn't …. Gil would have …" She swallowed. "She's sick. The court will never hold her responsible for her actions, and I won't, either."

* * *

"And, your father?"

"The courts would punish him, take me away from him and try to protect you."

"Sara, listen. That man controlled our lives for years. He didn't know better, but we do. By forgiving him, we take away his power over us."

Sara nodded. "You're right. He ruled my life for years. I lost so much because of him … I can't lose more. I can't lose _Gil_."

Laura smiled softly.

"He didn't know better," Sara whispered. "I forgive him."

With that, an overwhelming peace filled Sara. Her ghosts were laid to rest, never to haunt her again.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: And so ends this drabble journey! Thank you all so much for taking it with me. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story – I have to admit, it's my favorite drabble. I wonder why …

Thank you so much for reading, and for all your comments. I really, truly appreciate all that you've shared with me.

I don't own CSI or "Born Too Late."

* * *

"_I was born tonight"_

Sara stood in Grissom's office, nervous energy coursing through her. Maybe this was a mistake. She should have called first … given him some warning …

He entered the office and stopped short, staring at her in disbelief.

Fear melted away as their eyes met and a wave of intense love washed over Sara. How had she ever left him?

"Sara," he whispered. "What …?"

"Shhh," she said, putting her finger over his lips.

Grissom kissed her finger, then her lips.

Questions and explanations could wait. Sara was home. Nothing else mattered.

Neither of them had ever felt so loved.

_Fin_


End file.
